Are you always fighting about money with your spouse? Money is a common cause of arguments in a relationship. Who hasn’t argued about money with their significant other?You may come from different upbringings and have differing attitudes toward money. Even if you grew up in similar circumstances, you may have learned to handle money differently than your spouse. There’s a simple solution that is easy to implement that will get you and your spouse back on the same page financially.
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SPENDER VS. SAVER
What do you do when you have different financial attitudes in a relationship? The saver might scrutinize every transaction and analyze (over analyze!) every purchase. On the other hand, the spender sees something they want and they trust their impulse and buy it. The spender might spend a paycheck right away and then be broke again until payday.
ALWAYS FIGHTING ABOUT MONEY
So what happens when you mix a spender and a saver? It doesn’t go well-you probably have had plenty of money fights. And you might tell yourself it was normal-everyone fights about money.
The saver often feels like they never have any spending money because the spender spent it all. The spender might feel like they never had any say over money because the saver scrutinizes every purchase. You need to find a compromise if your current system (lack of a system) isn’t working for your relationship.
So what is a potential solution when you have differing spending attitudes?
ALLOWANCES
Yep, just like kids, each person should get an allowances each month. You’ll figure out how often to get an allowance, how much you’ll get, and what kind of purchases come from allowance money.
DETERMINE YOUR ALLOWANCE AMOUNT
How much will you each get for your personal expenditures? It may be the same amount for each of you or may be you each get a different amount. Make sure to discuss it with your spouse/significant other and you both agree on the amount each person will get.
DETERMINE YOUR ALLOWANCE FREQUENCY
It may be easier to have allowances that coincide with paydays, such as the 15th and 30th. If you get paid weekly, it may be easier to do it weekly. Also, consider how much money you feel comfortable with at one time. If you are a spender, maybe breaking the allowance into weekly portions is best.
DECIDE WHAT THE ALLOWANCE COVERS
What types of purchases will come from allowance funds? (And what type of purchases are okay to make from joint funds?)
Will it be lunches out? Going out with friends? Clothes? Manicures? Video games? Again, make sure you both are on the same page.
THE PLAN IN ACTION
Each month, give yourselves an allowance at the beginning of the month (or whenever you’ve determined). You’ll use that money for individual type purchases, such as clothing, going out with friends, and meals on the go. If you have a larger purchase you want to make, you must save up your allowance money until you have enough.
Having an allowance allows the spender to purchase items without the saver scrutinizing purchases (do you really need another video game?) And the saver knows they can have their own spending money or they can save up for a bigger purchase without worrying about the spender spending the money.
Having a little freedom in your budget for each partner to spend as they wish can do wonders for those money fights!
KEEP THE FUNDS SEPARATE
Decide how you will keep these funds separate from your regular funds/checking account. You could each have a separate account with a debit card, use a prepaid card, or could also just take the allowance in cash each time.
When partners are disagreeing over money, you need to find a system that works for both of you.
If you have differing spending habits, give the allowance system a try.
